What We REALLY Need for the Baby

Many new-parents-to-be suffer from anxiety about the upcoming bundle of joy; a central theme of my personal anxiety is "How can I avoid traumatizing my child to the point where he will require therapy for the rest of his life?"

However, I love that other people have a different idea of what exactly will traumatize a child. Here is a great list of potential gifts for our child that will cause minimal trauma.

First Baby Purchase

Since Ted is creating the anti-registry (see below), I have been giving serious thought to the real registry. Yes, we have purchased and/or received a few little things for the baby (including a fantastic Dogfish Head Brewery onesie), we have yet to purchase anything of real value or use. One of the foremost concerns and major purchases is the stroller.

As parents to be, the stroller purchase has become more important than a major car purchase. And since my car is about the size of a large golf cart, we are very limited by space concerns.

So of course, being the snobs that we are, we find the single most expensive stroller on the market and promptly fall in love with it. Yes, the Maclaren, the Lexus of strollers, favorite of celebrities and yuppies everywhere, known for durability, small size, and style. And of course, the accompanying price take that can singlehandedly give you preeclampsia.

But there is a cheaper option! For a fraction of the cost of the big daddy strollers you can get just the base that you snap the car seat into (a "Snap and Go"), and voila! You have a stroller! The downside is that once the kid turns three to four months, you have to get a bigger stroller, but the non-infant ones are significantly cheaper.

And here is the best part -- normally the Maclaren version of this stroller runs around $90. Ted and I were in Babies 'r' Us (NEVER go here unless you have to or want to have an incentive to take extra birth control), testing out all the strollers. And yes, we were discussing turning radius, shock absorbers, upholstery, available upgrade packages-- it really is like buying a car! And then my brilliant husband saw it -- the floor model of the Maclaren version of the Snap and Go (the "Easy Traveller" -- nothing is easy when you have a baby). And here is the best part....

IT WAS ON SALE!!!!

So we grabbed that bad boy and wheeled it right out to the car (with a quick pit stop to pay for it, of course!).

Next logical step -- to see if we can put the cat in it and take him for a walk.

What not to get us

I know a few people have purchased random things for the baby (UVa bibs, drinking onesies, holiday themed outfits, Baby's first spotting scope, ceremonial tantos - it goes in, across then down, etc). However, there is one thing that we not only are not registering for, but has instead caused us to create the anti-registry:

The Belly Cast Kit


Yes, that's right, you can immortalize how big you were in paper mache. Reasons we're against this:

• You have to put it somewhere. Many of the reviews suggest hanging it on the wall with one euphemistically calling it "a conversation starter"
• The cat would sleep in it
• The nursery will be crowded enough with the baby, his stuff, the cat, the dog, me and the real Gretchen all visiting. No need to add a second, statue Gretchen
• Our friends would probably try to wear it (Matt)
• My friends or I would make an alien burst through it at some point
• It might get rigged to dispense beer (Phi Psi)
• Gretchen would make the cat sleep in it

Looking at the reviews, I can see why some people really like it. It seems like they may have had a lot of trouble getting pregnant, or that being pregnant was super important to them, and the fufillment of a dream. I think they also have more space then us, and possibly less creativity in terms of how things can get misused...

WOW!

Just yesterday I saw the first picture of myself since I got pregnant in which I REALLY look pregnant. It's kind of scary. Now I understand why people keep asking me about the baby when I haven't told them I'm pregnant. At least I don't look like I'm just fat anymore!